Sunday, February 21, 2010

forgiving

talked about loving, how God loves. stever carter-the pastor who spoke tonight-asked us to pray for the people that have hurt us...then he rephrased it to who would you bless, who would benefit from your prayers...basically people that we get negative emotions from....teaching kindergarten and teaching them to love one another as God loves, is really hard for me to grasp. how can i possibly love or bless someone who has cause so much hurt, anguish and hatred? steve told us to write the name/s down....thinking about it, i put down the name of one of the mom's at where i sub...whenever she sees me, she always says, "can't stay away can you" in the mooooost demeaning way....i feel like crap, thanks! just because i quit doesn't mean you can be rude to me..i was always kind to you and your kids.....buuuut then i got to thinking....the people that cause me the most anguis, hurt and hatred are the parents that abuse their children. sitting in the chair, my heart broke into pieces thinking about the children that came to camp and the children at that moment....how can i possibly forgive them? my heart won't let me...i'm just praying and hoping that God tells me what to do, because right now? i can't bless them, i can't pray for them and i really can't love them

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